Disk Operating System.
Dead on Spawn.
The whole situation reeks of empathy and a world so modern it separates us all with the speed and fury it once connected us with.
The game seems to be dead. Where it once promised regularity and joy, it has broken down into something that is at the whims of schedules sleep and sloth.
Our feelings are not the same.
People’s hearts seem to always be tangled in a web of circumstance and apathy. With each beat my heart pumps frost into my veins.
I fear that apathy will become my default state. Yet, as I damn it all, it brings me back to a more innocent time.
Even a few years ago I believed it. I took in those words, and reveled in the promise that these people I was with would be people that I would forever know, that would be companions in the travel through time.
Today I have lost touch. One who was once a brother to me has slipped, his lack of communication and my steady anger shame and disappointment splitting our common ground.
I fear that I will lose my love.
I fear that I’ve lost my self respect.
I fear that someday I won’t care for either.
On this plague born night in Neverwinter my friends and I crept like fools into the dungeons of the city prison. We struck down escaped prisoners and continuously both dealt and received death. We left nothing in our wake. Each chest looted, each body reduced to spoilt remains.
Afterward, I indulged myself in run and gun RPG curio that is Realm of the Mad God. I killed many mythical beasts, and a few sumo wrestlers; each attempt ending with the fist of the Mad God ridding me of my life.
Quickly, I’m becoming and old soul.
Yearning and a sense of nostalgia spiral my nights into insomniac contemplations. The theme of the moment being my sense of lost comradeship and the stories weaved with others as a child. I’ve twice written these ramblings, but they show no sign of relenting.
Continue reading LSD & NWN: Of Gladiators and Mad Gods
Neverwinter Nights is a game that is beyond me.
Its complex DnD architecture is built on a rule book more vast and epic than the bible. The sheer weight of the menus causes my brain to seize shut. It many ways its a game that represents my still immature self, sure of his identity, but without the resolve or strength to hold it together.
Today I’ve finally realized my ambition of creating a party to tackle Neverwinter Nights’ bottomless campaign. Despite having many brothers multiplayer sessions of gaming are a rare occurrence these days. Changing interests, age differences, and schedules are to blame of course, but it saddens me that the comradery of our younger years is passing.
In every modern day there is less time than those days of my youth. Aside from particular co-workers, my girlfriend and schoolmates my days are void of contact with friends I used to know so well. This little ragtag party: inexperienced, unlearned, and blind, it’s more than entertainment. For the first time in recent memory I’ve had something close to a social experience.
Time will dictate if it lasts.