It’s Not Funny Anymore: “LOL”

You have no idea how much I fucking hate this acronym. I’m going to spell it out for you.

Whenever you use those three letters sequentially I immediately:

1. think of the internet
2. think of comments on forums, articles, or youtube
3. get the impression of the same mindset that responds with “first” or “that’s gay”
4. am reminded of how fucking stupid most people are
5. apply those thoughts to your sentence, or lack thereof
6. think less of you and group you with those denizens of those dark places of the net.

Or for the rest of you:
TL:DR— Whenever you use “LOL” my knee jerk reaction is to think you are a dumbass.

Clear enough?
Enough of that internet grade antagonism. Beyond the jump are some thoughts about it, in proper English.

Simply put, I find the acronym “LOL” to be a very lazy expression. I oftentimes find it is used a punctuation mark instead of a proper expression. It is the go to response for almost any reply. It’s become a non-reply, along with the single letter response “k”.

It adds nothing to the conversation, and takes no mental effort at all to respond with. In addition, it most cases it can be considered inappropriate. What exactly is so damn hilarious about the fact that I am enjoy Batman the Animated Series while you watch whatever on Netflix? Am I such a brilliant comedian that my mere mention of my eager anticipation of a new videogame is so pregnant with humor that upon delivery you must roar with laughter upon seeing it inscribed on your monitor?

Or are you just reading everything I’m saying with the mental image and in the voice of Ricky Gervais?

“LOL” is a lazy non-entity, a relic of a bygone era where teenagers still used AIM and where texting cost you exorbitant sums and had to be performed on keypads. I know for a fact that you have a full keyboard, AND that you have the ability to touch-type. Furthermore, “LOL” is a straight up lie. Most of the time there is only the smallest sliver of amusement in your mind, and you are not, in fact, laughing out loud. You are not even smirking.

Oh but I bet right now you are smirking, thinking about that brilliant comment you are going to put at the bottom. You’re so clever, and ironic, and witty. Watch this, you tell your friend, who is watching over your shoulder.

You hit the keys:
L.

O.

L.

Send.

Don’t bother. It’s petty, it’s obvious, and it’s not clever at all.
That and I’ve done it for you.

4 thoughts on “It’s Not Funny Anymore: “LOL””

  1. Such things as lol, k, all those silly emoticons, even *nod* and the ever-infuriating mhmm are merely the translation of facial expression that do not translate over text-based instant communication. They may be irritating, but they are that missing part (however horribly they fail to translate it is a worthy if failed attempt to fill in those blanks) of face-to-face conversation and the irritation is just proof that motion and expression are vital to real-time conversation. Perhaps in the end only chatroulette can save us.

    1. Too bad people won’t stop being amused by the horrified expressions of the other person’s face when they inevitable whip out their shlong for the camera.

      There is always Skype though.

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